7 Ways to Practice More Self-Compassion Daily
Does your inner critic prevent you from fully enjoying your achievements? Does it tell you you’re not worthy of receiving the best life has to offer? Or that you’re not doing enough or fast enough?
That nagging and self-critical voice in our head can often cause us more suffering than the external circumstances we sometimes face. Facing it with love, patience, and compassion may seem impossible in certain moments.
When it comes to your inner self-talk, it may seem like you have little control over it. Yet by mindfully witnessing your own mind, you’ll find that you’re greater than the thoughts that come and go. You have the power to direct your awareness in a way that cultivates greater levels of kindness for yourself.
Self-compassion takes some practice – but it’s worth it as you enjoy what it feels like to treat yourself with the same kindness you’d treat your loved ones with.
Your brain’s response to self-compassion
When you’re used to always judging yourself or beating yourself up, you’ve made it easier for your brain to react this way to almost anything you do (or don’t do). This is because of neuroplasticity: the more you practice a certain way of thinking or being, the stronger those neural networks become.
Here’s what happens when you practice being kinder and more compassionate with yourself: these responses start to become second nature. Over time, you’ll notice that you’re resilient enough to handle challenges and to keep growing without always being so hard on yourself.
When you treat yourself well or soothe your own pain, your brain releases oxytocin. This is the feel-good chemical that we often associate with feeling loved and cared for.
The great news is that the more you practice being kinder to yourself, the more naturally it will come to you…until you become your very own best friend! So here are some ways that you can practice self-compassion every day so that you can strengthen this beautiful habit within yourself.
“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.” — Christopher Germer
Start your morning with gratitude
You’ve probably heard of the power of gratitude. When practiced consistently, it can help you reduce stress and anxiety while boosting your mood. But how often do you apply gratitude to yourself?
One of the best ways to feel more compassion for yourself is to simply take some time first thing in the morning to be grateful for you. Be grateful for your eyes that get to enjoy the sunlight, for your feet to allow you to go anywhere you want in life, or for the next breath that brings fresh oxygen to your cells and organs.
Feel the gift of being alive and for being your unique self, even with any of your perceived challenges or so-called imperfections. Recognize how many wonderful memories you’ve made and how many lives you’ve touched. Keep track of the joyful moments when you’ve felt truly grateful for being you by journaling about them. Use these as a reminder when that inner critic pops up throughout the day.
Give yourself a high five
Yes, it may sound silly. But how often do you give high fives to others when they accomplish something big or small? Why not give a high five to yourself and acknowledge your accomplishments too – especially when you feel you’re being too hard on yourself?
When you wake up and go to the bathroom, try this out even before you brush your teeth: give yourself a high five! Research shows that high fives have the power to motivate us because of the positive association we have with them.
If you catch yourself wanting to criticize any part of your appearance, decide ahead of time that instead, you’ll simply smile. Self-compassion always begins with embracing and loving yourself as you are right now. It’s from that space that you’ll be able to start your day feeling encouraged and positive about yourself!
“When you love yourself, you inevitably do things you love. When you treat yourself with respect, you do respectable things. And when you celebrate yourself, you do things worth celebrating.” — Mel Robbins
Create daily moments of celebration
Allow yourself to feel worthy of treating yourself regardless of what you accomplish that day. Celebrate yourself for who you are right now. Not the person you want to become in the future, but you exactly how you’re showing up today.
Make a list of little things or experiences that you can do each day to make you feel rewarded and relaxed. Perhaps you love to read in your backyard. Or you treat yourself by buying yourself a coffee at your favorite coffee shop. Maybe you feel great when you light an aromatic candle while you work.
Regardless of how small these experiences may seem, if they make you feel good, schedule them into your day so you can celebrate yourself daily! Rather than skipping out on moments of leisure or enjoyment because you’re too busy, show yourself that you’re worthy of rewards without having to accomplish everything on your to-do list.
Break goals into smaller bites
If you have high goals for yourself, it might feel like there’s never enough time to accomplish all the things on your list. It’s normal for any ambitious person to feel like there’s always more to do. Yet most of the time, this is simply a story we tell ourselves.
The compassionate way to handle overwhelm is to give yourself more time to accomplish things. That could mean taking a break when your body needs it. But it could also mean doing a better job of scheduling out the things you have to do.
When life happens and unexpected challenges come up as you work on a project or a task, self-compassion is often the first to go out the door. So to prevent this, break your goals into bite-sized pieces. Enjoy the feeling of achievement as you check off each little thing. And over time, these little things can’t help but add up to those bigger goals you’re working towards.
Yet the key thing is to remain happy with yourself even as you’re on the way to those goals, without judging the speed of your progress.
Get curious about your thoughts and feelings
Whenever you notice that you’re being harsh on yourself, pause for a moment. Become curious about the mental pattern of self-criticism as it arises. Notice what it feels like in your body to want to talk down to yourself.
Observe the sensations you feel in your body as if you were experiencing them for the first time. Ask yourself what it feels like to be alive and to experience these feelings. Simply be curious about the experience that’s here and the feelings that are present.
It’s almost like exploring a new park or city for the first time. You don’t judge what you see. You simply feel your way around and then change direction if you need to. In this case, you change the direction of your thoughts so that you pay attention to something positive about yourself.
“It is a beautiful experience being with ourselves at a level of complete acceptance. When that begins to happen, when you give up resistance and needing to be perfect, a peace will come over you as you have never known.” — Ruth Fishel
Swap the worst-case scenarios for possibilities
If your inner critic is telling you that a big dream of yours is impossible or that it may turn out to be a failure, notice that this is just a mental narrative. By becoming mindful and observing the inner critic, you can choose to change the narrative by shifting where you focus your attention.
Imagine how you’d react to a little child if they shared their big dreams or hopes with you. You’d support them and encourage them by sharing in the joy of all the possibilities that are available.
To practice self-compassion more consistently, change the way you think about your personal goals. Get excited about the possibilities of things going right rather than allowing your mind to ruminate on the negative what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.
Give yourself space when you need it
If you feel that your inner critic is triggered by other people around you, remain kind to yourself by creating distance when needed. Negative-minded people who are judgmental or who put a lot of pressure on you can drain your energy. Without even being conscious of it, you may take other people’s feelings onto yourself.
Recognize that when people behave in ways that are less than supportive or compassionate, it may be because they’re going through something difficult in their life or because they’re still working on cultivating a better relationship with themselves too. Send them love, but give yourself the gift of not being in their presence when you don’t have to be.
Ready to bring more self-compassion into your daily life?
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